New Routine

Okay, so here I go. I've put together a new writing routine and hopefully I will get much more done. The old one was not challenging enough and left too many gaps for me to slip through. Now let's see how much this one helps.

I have neglected to do this for myself in the past because with my work schedule I had to squeeze it in whereever I could. It was not only a time factor, but one of energy and space in my brain. Being a psychologist I would often come home with so much buzzing around in my head ,I just needed to do something that would numb it. Now that I've retired, that is no longer the case. These days I have to remind myself that I have the energy and space to get it done, and tell mysel to go to it.

It's amazing to me that since I enjoy writing so much I would have to remind myself to get more done. I really do love writing. My brain feels differently when I'm doing it, literally. I think it has something to do with right brain vs left brain and may involve some level of endorphins. I wonder if this happens for others, too.

Do you notice a difference between writing and doing some other task? Let me know.

Cruises

Wouldn't it be fun to take a week-long cruise that was specifically for writers? I have this fantasy that all of my favorite authors and editors would be there.Then they would agree to facilitate writing workshops offering their expertise. Of course the editors would tell us what they are looking for and invite us to submit our work.

What a wonderful dream. I love getting professional feedback and direction. I wonder if a cruise like that could really happen? If there were, I would be among the first to book that trip. I get so much out of attending conferences that offer professional critiques. It gives me an idea of what I need to focus on.

I remember the first time I submitted something for critique. I was so nervous I took a digital recorder with me because I knew I would never be able to remember what was said. Their feedback was extremely helpful. It gave me a different perspective in the direction of the WIP.

This year I'm putting together a list of conferences and workshops to make sure I don't miss the ones I'm really interested in. To date, my favorite conference has be the SCBWI Summer Conference and the Agents' Day workshop put on by my regional chapter of the same organization. These two events have given me help, direction, and encouragement.

What are your favorites?

A great and Wonderful Year!

Happy New Year!

I'm really excited about this year--2010! I expect it to be a great one. I get a chance to do things I didn't get to do last year. Things like finishing the projects I'm working on, learning new writing skills, and meeting new writing friends. I hope you are one of them

This year I plan to write new stories and challenge myself to write that mystery I've always wanted to. I am so excited! Just think of all the things I can do with 365 days. I can't wait to get started.

I won't keep you long, I'm sure you have things you're dying to get back to. But I want to say one more thing. Keep up the good work, my writing friends and should we meet, let's share a story or two.

Holidays and Me

I was sitting and thinking about writing and all of the holiday frenzy. How am I going to squeeze it all in? Then it occurred to me that maybe my focus was a little off. Instead of concentrating on what there is to do I need to put my efforts and energy into who I'm doing it with and  why I'm doing it. I'm doing this because of the relationships that surround me.

These people keep me going. When it feels like I'll never reach my goal, whatever it happens to be, they are the ones who cheer me on. Without them, all of them, I would very likely give up because at times it feels too hard, out of my reach.

They are also the ones that keep me honest, espceially with myself. When I come up against the wall, they are the ones that ask me if the task is too hard, is it that I don't want it that much, or am I just being a bit lazy. I could not be who I am without them.

I have a never-ending love for my family and friends and a consuming love for the One I call God. They keep me going, help me to grow, and it is because of them I strive to be a better person, that includes becoming a better writer. They are the true gift to me, not just for this season, but for my life.

As this year comes to a close, I look behind and see what a blessing each has been to me. I look forward to a better year. A year that includes enjoying my time with all of them, and maybe a little more with my wonderful grandchildren. It has been agreat year!

My Critique Genies

Last time I told you about the amazing people who help me in my quest to become a better writer. Here they are.

This is our most junior member, Lola. She looks like she's sleeping, but don't let that fool you. Lola lets me know when something isn't working. That lady next to her is her mom, Sarah. She

keeps me on target with age appropriate voice.

This is our senior member, Marian. She makes sure my timelines are accurate. Without her, who knows where I'd place the important things.


And here are all the others in between. My wonderful genies of truth.

I can count on these two, Carol (left) and Lynn, for help with grammar and humor. Carol reminds me when I've put in too many eating scenes.She also shares my love for science fiction.

This is Steve, our lonely male. We have another male member, but he wasn't there the day I took pictures. Steve makes sure I trim the fat in my writing. He's another one that's into sci-fi like me.

These two are Maria (left) and Leah. Maria put our group together and for that I will always be grateful. She keeps my writing smoothe. Leah keeps my humor spot-on. She's also the G-Mama to our junior memeber.

And these are Kathy (left) and Julie. Kathy helps me with fluidity and action. Julie keeps me on target with age of audience, checks my action, and straightens out the strange way I like to phrase things.

These are my wonderful Writing Genies. Without their help my writing would well and truly suck. They are all wonderful writers. Maybe not Lola, yet. But stay on the lookout for her. Anyone who starts this young is going to be awesome. By the way, Kathy, Maria, and Lynn, have just released their newest middle grade book, Monster Moon: Curse at Zala Manor. Be sure and get a copy. It's great.

The Blessngs of a Great Critique Group

Being a part of a critique group is a wonderful thing. Without them my writing would flounder, but with them it has grown. I have been a part of a group that is specific to children's literature. I can't even begin to tell you how helpful it has been.

Do they always say what I want to hear? Absolutely not. If they did, how would I grow? They say things that are very helpful. For example, when I think I have written a scene that I think is clear. They tell me when it isn't. And not only that it isn't clear, they tell me why. Often I think the scene is all in place because it's so clear in my ehad. The problem is that the reader doesn't have the benefit of my mind to look into. They can only see what's on the page. Imagine that.

Most surprising is when something I've done is spot-on. They laugh in the right places, gasp when the main character is in danger, or cry when a favorite lesser character dies. That puts me into orbit.

The best thing is that they are people who will tell me the truth. As a writer I can fall into the trap of believing that my work does what I want it to do. Sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't. I can always count on this group of writers to tell me what really is. That is worth more than I could ever say. And it is because of that truth that my writing grows.

Christmas. Really?

How on earth did Christmas sneak up on me? I can't believe the year has slipped by. I drive through the neighborhood and see everyone's lights and decorations. So I guess it's official. We're in the Christmas season.

Last year I thought about writing a piece with the holiday specifically in mind. I guess that won't be happening this year. There's no way I'm going to add another project right now. Once I get the others finished I'll work on that one. I have this crazy idea about writing a series of whacky short stories aimed at the holidays. I think it would be fun.

How many holidays are there? Do I include presidents' days? How about the ones that we don't really celebrate, like May Day? I'll bet I can come up with a lot of different days.

Let's see, there are the usual ones like Christmas and Thanksgiving. Then there are the one that don't get a lot of attention like Grandparents Day or the first day of spring.

How many 'minor' holidays can you name?

Writing and Blogging

Wow! I'm having one heck of a time keeping this blog current. It's definitely not that I don't enjoy it. It's that I am working on three projects at a time. I get sucked into whichever project I'm working on. Now, I'm doing that times three.

Sometimes I think maybe I should put a couple of them on hold until I get one finished. But I can't decide which ones to put away. I really love them all. Since I'm not under a deadline for any of them, I guess it doesn't matter. I just need to figure out where to get this blog into my schedule.

I've thought about working ahead and scheduling them to post at regular intervals, but that feels a little impersonal. I wonder why that it? Do any of you use this feature?

Well, that's that, then. I've fought it as long as I could. I need to commit to a particular schedule to get it all done. No more free floating.

Back to the Beginning

Lately I've been thinking about my writing, particularly its growth or lack of. I pulled out a couple of my early manuscripts...oh, my. It's funny how when I started writing I thought I was really good. NOT! I can't believe all of the 'writing crimes' I committed.

I started with picture books. I wrotes stories that really were only interesting to adults. They had an adult voice. And the worst was that they went on and on and on. The word counts were rediculous. It didn't take too long before I realized that picture books were not my forte.

Then I wrote a chapter book. It was better than the PB but not by much. I had animal characters that talked like wooden statues and the storyline left something to be desired. So I moved on to Middle Grade.

I had greater success there. By now I was actually reading books on writing and read through some MG. The storyline was age appropriate and could possibly interest my target group. But...and there really is a but, the execution was horrendous. Then I made a wonderful move, I joined a critique group.

I can't tell you the improvement in my work, though it didn't happen overnight. What I learned was that I have a decent voice for MG, but when I tried my had at Young Adult, I found myself.

Here are the things that I learned I am pretty good at and still perfecting. My voice for YA works. My imagination is perfect for science fiction. No surprise there since that's what I love to read. The surprise was that I found that I'm really good at writing action sequences!

I shouldn't have been surprised about that since I love books and movies that are fairly fast-paced. I prefer a lifestyle with exciting things happening in it. And I married a man who plays football and is a firefighter by profession. That right there should have told me something.

Then I discovered conferences and workshops. What a find! There is so much to learn and it's all right there waiting for me. I even found the courage to submit to the critiques. The feedback is invaluable! I've even had a few of the top editors enjoy my writing.

Now I'm closer than ever to reaching my goal. And what is that? My goal is beyond publication. What I am striving for is to become such a good writer that when one of my readers sets my book down, they are  shocked at being some place other than the scene they just read. That is my goal and I plan to get there!

To Web or Not to Web

I've been thinking and wondering about creating a website. My author friends say that it is a must even though I'm not published yet.

Okay, so lets say I put one up. Now what the heck do I put on it? Some say I should put up excerpts from any of my WIPs. Others tell me to create new stories just for the website. How on earth do I figure out what to do? Shoot I'm still trying to figure out the whole blog thing.

So today I go to one of my critique groups. After going through everyones' work we sat around chatting. About what? You know it was the website issue. We went on line and looked at each of theirs. They were beautiful and full of things they have published, fiction and non-fiction. One of the members has over sixty books out there and working on more.

Me? I'm chugging along, writing and querying, looking for my first contract. The only thing that I have published is my doctoral thesis. I don't think there are that many people out there interested in the statistics of child sexual abuse. While there might be a few, it doesn't make for happy reading. And since I write YA, the number of interested people decreases exponentially.

Which brings me back to my original question, should I have a website and if I did, what would I put on it? I'm not even sure how to begin thinking about the process and deciding what it should be or how it should look.

I would love to hear about someone's process. How they decided to create a website or what made them decide not to do it.

No NaNo

This is the month that billions of writers (it could happen) are busily banging out those new manuscripts for the National Novel Writing Month. Just not me. I've tried it before and it's more than a can do. Not that I can't write that many words, or that I can't sit at the computer that long, it's that my brain doesn't work like that. In my process I have to day-dream each scene and write it out several times until it fits. Then there's that O/C side of me that needs to perfect each paragraph before I can let it stand. I go through this process for each draft. Completing NaNo does not allow time for this, at least not for me.

So, this month, I'll just be chugging along at my usual rate. Writing through my WIP until that draft is done and then work on another. I take my hat off to those who complete NaNo. It's definitely an interesting challenge with some side benefits.

This morning I'm chugging in contemporary America, but tonight I'll be in another galaxy. I do get around.

The Truth and Nothing but the Truth

Okay, here's the truth. I've been busy working on a short story. It's been a bear keeping the story tight, concise, and flowing. I've been so buried in that and rewriting other works that I haven't taken the time to blog. I know, I know...bad blogger, bad blogger. I considered putting myself in time out, but that would just keep me away longer.

Several people I know are gearing up for Nano. How can I write fifty thousand words when I'm trying to get these five thousand words to work and flow? Who would have thought it would be this hard. Well, actally I did. I went into this thinking that it would make  my writing tighter, and it is. But figuring out changing scenes with a smooth transition and very few words has got me stumped.

So if anyone has an idea or suggestion, I would gladly hear it.

Okay, So I'm a Little Slow

Yep, it took me this long to think about writing something other than novel length pieces. Today I've been online finding a list of publications that work exclusively with flash fiction. I have a new inspiration!

Imagine, writing something that could get published that doesn't have the length of commitment of a novel. But there's a caveat, there's always a caveat. Writing shorter pieces means that my writing has to be tighter than tight and come up with a beginning, middle, and end in a very few pages.

Actually, come to think of it, doing this will, more than likely, improve my writing. What an idea. Doing something that will make me a better writer! Okay, I'm being sarastic, but I'm really jazzed. Now I have all kinds of ideas buzzing around in my head. I can't wait to get started.

Have you ever thought about writing short stories, short-shorts, or flash fiction?

We Know What We Want

How often have we been told by editors and agents in conferences,  workshops, and seminars "We know what we're looking for but it's not something we can easily tell you. We can only say that we will know it when we see it"? Too often, but I get it.

No one knows what will sell or what will take off and be the next big hit. How do you gauge what the market will do? There are ways to estimate, extrapolate, or guess what people are looking for, but it's all a crapshoot. In addition to that, the unpredictability of adolescence blows it all out of the water. So I get it when they give the non-answer. It just makes things a little more difficult.

So what started this whole rant of mine? I was playing with my grandson. We were listening to one of his CD's and a song by the Backyardigans struck me as the perfect description of this process. The song comes form The Legend of the Volcano Sisters. The first lines are: We know what we want. We know what we don't want, so give us what we want. Then the Luau Brothers ask the Volcano Sisters what they want, to which they respond, We Won't tell. The song continues with the same questions and the same response.

I had to laugh, it was the perfect depiction of the process. I don't know how many of you have small children or are familiar with this program, but I suggest that you  give it a listen. Great fun!

Submitting

Yesterday I mailed two manuscripts to two of the invitations I got this summer. I have no idea how they will be received, but they are out there. There are times that I procrastinate sending out my work because I don't always know if it is the right person to send it to.

I do the research before hand or like in this case someone asks for that piece. You would think that that might give me an edge. Not. By the time the work gets read, the company could have decided that they already have enough of this type. Or, their focus has changed and they are no longer looking for that kind of story. It is such a crap-shoot.

Well it really doesn't matter because I'm bitten by the writing bug and I will never stop. One day I will land the right piece with the right person. I hope the day that happens I'm in a well carpeted area because I'm sure I'll faint and fall flat on my face. But it's worth the risk.

So now I work on the next thing. Gotta keep that writing fix going.

Learning and Opportnity

OMG! I just got back from a fantastic weekend, one of learning and opportunity. I'll start with the learning. This weekend was the SCBWI-LA Writer's Retreat. It was great. There were two editors present, Martha Mahalik, Associate Editor of Greenwillow, an imprint of HarperCollins and Arthur A. Levine, Vice President at Scholastic Inc. and the Pulisher of Arthur A. Levine Books, a literary, hardcover imprint of Scholastic. Both were kind enough to facilitate critique groups. Does it get any better than that? I don't think so.

Both gave me incredible feedback on the pieces I read. I can't imagine anything better than learning from these two. They were kind, imformative, and helpful. The things they pointed out became immediately apparent the moment the words left their mouths. I can't wait to get started on the revisions! With their help, my work can't do anything but get better.

Now for the opportunity. That loud, earpiercing scream you head yesterday was my reaction to Arthur Levine telling me that I am a good writer AND giving me an invitation to submit the piece he critiqued to him.

Okay, that was me screaming again. But can you blame me? The opportunities keep getting better and better. Then at the end of the weekend an agent offered me her card and expressed an interest in seeing my work.

Yeah, I did it again. In my place you would be screaming too. OMG!

Well, I have a lot of work to do so I'll have to write more later.

Doing Better

Today I am making the final corrections on the pieces I'm presenting at the Working Writer's Retreat. I'm having a blast working on three different stories at a time. The common thread between them is that they are science fiction; two far future and one comtenporary.

It reminds me why I do this. I love writing. I love having the characters talk in my head. Everything the characters say and the things they do gives me massive thrills. Not like a roller coaster or watching an action movie, but pretty darn close. It must be tapping into the same endorphens.

New stories are the best. I have to come up with a story line, characters, climax. It's just so good. I enjoy creating main characters, getting to know them, understanding their weaknesses and strengths. Super cool. But even better than that is creating a character that people will love to hate. For some reason that takes me over the top.

I'll  have to stop and sort that one out. Maybe there's some vicarious need being fulfilled. Or possibly some chathartic discharge when I foil their desires, even kill them off. Did I mention that I love it?

When I stay away from the computer too long it's like I'm jonesing for that endorphen rush and I go running back into the story. How about you? What gets you going?

In the Mirror of My Grandson

This morning while I was checking email, catching up on blogs, and playing solitaire, my grandson was working at the task of writing a page of ones. You would think his mother had sentenced him to a life of hard labor. My daughter has tried everything to motivate him and keep him on task. You name it, she's tried it. He works for a while then disappears into the land of imagination.

Watching him, I have on several occasions had to ask myself if the child has a attentional problem. Not. As a psychologist and a child specialist I observed and screened for the disorder. My concern was not so much that the disoder might be present, but more if it is a factor, then what we are asking him to do is beyond his control and he needs our help.

He doesn't have an attentional problem but an intentional one. He says, Nana, I don't want to write my ones. I want to go outside and play. Boy do I understand that one. I don't want to write. I want to call my friends, play solitaire, read books, watch television. Neither of these things is necessarily a problem except when I find myself doing either one of them for huge chunks of time and not writing even one sentence.

My grandson and I have so much in common when it comes to Intensional Deficit Disorder. So I have to work hard to battle IDD and get my work done, him too. It won't be easy for either of us but we'll try.

Anybody else out there with IDD?

Revision, Revision

I've been working on a near final revision. It's complete and on it's way. I sent it to a reader and am anxiously awaiting her comments. I'm dying to see what she thinks works and doesn't work.

I remember when I first started writing. All I wanted a reader to do was to tell me how wonderful they thought the ms was and that somehow they were going to make sure I got it published. Geesh. Today it's all about telling an unforgettable story, carrying the reader on a journey that they never want to end. I'm working on getting there one line at a time and I'm getting closer.

I've been reading Savvy by Ingrid Law. It is wonderfully captivating. I can see how she earned the Newberry Honor. My end goal is to be able to transport my readers to that book's world. I want them to become so engrossed that when they look up from the page they're shocked to find themselves someplace else. Reading Savvy I experienced that level of writing and I won't quit until I get there.

I'm curious, what's your goal as a writer?

Back in the Saddle

I've been away for a while. Not really gone anywhere, but working on another revision of an historical novel. It consumed just about every waking moment. It's now finished. I handed over to someone that is well read and very discerning. She has never read any part of it and knows nothing about the story. So it's a cold read. I'm really nervous about what she thinks and what needs to improve (some more).

I read on blogs about beta readers and never thought to do it myself. Why? Who knows? Sometimes I can be a bit thick about these things. But today I am aiming for the stars, and the only way to get there is to revise and rewrite.

I'm shocked at how tired I am having just finished that last revision. I feel like there are no words left in me. It better not last too long, I have other projects to get going on. I'm looking forward to getting my teeth into them. I just wish I had a little more energy. I'm giving myself to the end of the week to rest, then energy or no I'm going back at it.

I absolutely love writing. I love the creation of story in my mind. I love how it churns and grows until I have an idea of  what the story is, where it's is going, who the main character is, and their particular strengths and weaknesses. Then there's the part when the characters begin speaking in my head. These are the things that keep me at it.

What are your favorite things about writing?

Almost Home

I've been at the SCBWI Summer Conference. Actually, I'm still here. The conference is over, but I don't leave until tomorrow. I thought I would be able to blog about what was happening and what I was doing, but I was exhausted at the end of each day. So much to hear and do.

This year's presenters were AWESOME. Sherman Alexe, Kathleen Deuy, Ingrid Law, Dan Yaccarino, Richard Peck and many more presented. Each one was more mesmerizing and inspiring than the last. Then there were the editors and agents presenting and inviting submissions. I can't wait to get home and get to work. Man am I stoked.

I had a sample critiqued by Elizabeth Law of Egmont USA and she likes my writing! That is the second senior editor from a significant house that likes my writing. Now all I have to do is find one of them that likes the stories I create. A bit of a challenge, but I'm up for it.

I love coming to this conference, I get so much out of it. I highly recommend attending to anyone that writes or illustrates for children, from picture books to young adult. It is completely worth the money and time. I can't think of anything that could add more to your writing career, except maybe a contract and high book sales.

There is so much more I can tell you. Unfortunately, I am running out of steam. My brain is completely worn out. So I'll post again when I get home.

Off to the Conference

I'm off to the SCBWI conference. I'm so jazzed I can't wait. This will be my second year attending the full weekend.

Last year I had a manuscript critiqued by none other than David Gale of Simon and Schuster. That was awesome. In that short session I learned so much and got a wonderful shot in the arm about my writing. He liked it. Now I have to write the novel that's going to do more than get noticed. I want it to get picked up. Not sure how to do that, but I will keep working on in until I succeed.

Last week I did the unthinkable. I retired. After a twenty year career in psychology, I was ready for a change. Writing. To be honest, I'm not sure if I can do it, but I'm determined to give it my best shot. Things like attending conferences and worksops keep me going.

I wonder who I'll meet this year. Last year I met really interesting people from all over the globe. I am really excited and hoping to meet and build relationships with wonderful writers. I will try to keep you posted on what I encounter. Post to you soon.

Missing in Action

I confess. I've been derelict in keeping up with my posting. I have a really good reason not an excuse. A few days ago I heard from an editor that had been quiet about the sample chapter I submitted. It's been about two years. The only thing I could surmise from the silence was that she was not interested. It turns out that wasn't the case at all. I guess the chapters got buried beneath everything else she was doing.

So when I got the email apologizing for the length of response time I was floored. On top of that, she's still interested! Life is full of wonderful surprises.

The email came at a time when I was procrastinating a revision of the manuscript in question. I don't have to tell you the kind of fire that lit under my nether region. So I will keep this post short and get back to it. But I just had to share a bit of sunshine in the writer days of gloom.

Just because you don't hear right away doesn't always mean that they are not interested or that your writing sucks (a personal fear of mine). Sometimes it's just a matter of time management of priorities for the submitee and they will get back to you as soon as they can.

In other words...DON'T GIVE UP.

Discouraged and Rising

Today I'm walking through the throws of being the discouraged writer. I'm sure it won't last for long, but in this moment it feels like my writing feet are stuck in the morass of doubt and fear. Why am I here again? Not really sure. I think what's pulling me down is the worry that I'll never get it 'right'. Whatever 'right' is.

There has to be a 'right' otherwise there would be no need for rejection letters. Or are things so subjective (this possibility terrifies me and is probably more accurate) that there's no 'right' way, just a group of industry professionals who are looking for something specific that they haven't defined for themselves. When asked at conferences or events what they are looking for, their response is always: I don't know, but I'll know it when I see it. AUGH! That's worse than no answer.

So I struggle through the next revision wondering if I'm correcting the problem or just adding to it. I've thought about utilizing a developmental editor, but who has that kind of money? Certainly not me.

That leaves me with the vagaries of critique groups. I'm not doubting their value. I believe critique groups are an essential part of the writing process, especially for the developing writer. It's that the groups I'm involved with have no published writers. That leaves me questioning some of what they say.

It would be awesome if there were a mentoring opportunity for me. Someone I could ask who has first-hand knowledge of the publishing industry. There may be someone like that out there, but I haven't a clue where or how to begin the search. Do mentors even exist anymore?

What's your take on this?

Retirement and Writing

Yesterday evening I was blessed by my co-workers celebrating my retirement. What a wonderful time, although I must admit it was a litte bittersweet. I was smacked in the face with emotions I thought I had processed, but apparently that will take longer than I anticipated.

I've been a psychologist for about twenty years. There were times that I thought nothing was better than this and there were times I tought I couldn't get away fast enough. My specialty in psychosis and children made it a very stressful career. If I summed it up this is what my clients taught me.
    1) Enjoy your life in the moment. Don't wait for it to get better.
    2) Accept life as it comes, fighting it doesn't change anything.
    3) Living with yourself can be a real adventure.
    4) There is always room for grace, mercy, and forgiveness.

So what does this have to do with writing? Everything! I have learned to enjoy every manuscript I work on, whether writing my own or critiquing someone else's. Life is what it is, and rejections letters are really an opportunity to make what I have written better or to point out what I have yet to learn about the craft. My life has been an adventure and I don't plan on changing any of that. Watching the way a plot unfolds or a character grows is more than awesome. Allowing myself the space to grow, fumble, and miss the mark as a writer are opportunities to extend to myself the grace and mercy I readily extend to others. And forgiveness is for those professionals who haven't yet realized my genius...just kidding.

As I begin this journey of total commitment to the learning and execution of the craft, I am filled with excitment and anxiety. I guess I'm approaching writing like everything else I've done...wade in until I'm waist deep then dive in and head for the deep end.

So here I go. Let's see what happens

Processing the Process

It occurred to me this morning that I have put time constraints and pressure on my writing. I had these ideas that if I finished a particular piece by a certain time that I would get published sooner.

This push caused me to falter in my growth of the craft. Today I am rethinking everything. What does it take to make a good revision? How do I see what constitutes a good change in the manuscript? How do I make sure what is in my head is actually put in the story?

For me it boils down to taking the time, however much I need, away from the ms so that when I come back to it my mind is not filling in the blanks. I need to take the time to completely think about what I have written compared to the authors whose writing I love.

What kept me from doing this before? So many things that I can't name them all, but the biggest one is impatience. I am so used to learning easily and understanding things right away that I expected this to happen for me in the writing process. Surprise...it didn't.

It really was a surprise for me. I thought that if I put the story on paper it would automatically read like I see it in my head. Of course it doesn't. I am learning that it will take many attempts before what I see with my minds-eye is present in the story for the reader to pick up.

How did I come to this conclusion? It took an agent pointing out the problem. He had complimented many things about the story and my writing. But, and there definitely was a but, in his own words "the story was light in characterization."

It took me aback. I knew my main character inside and out. If anyone asked anything about her I could tell them without hesitation. The problem was no one else would know any of that from reading the story and I couldn't see what was missing.

It took me taking the time to think about all of my favorite books and what made me love them. Then I had to think, really think, about my main character. Can you guess what I found? The agent was absolutely right! (Duh...like that is some kind of surprise.) But it took him saying this before I could see it. So now I have to completely rethink how I think about my writing. Metacognition at work. Sorry, the psychologist slipped through.

While this is a great 'aha' moment for me, has anyone else experienced this great epiphany in their writing?

Procrastination is the great monster that sits in my lap and keeps me away from the computer. I poke him. I prod him. But he will not get up! I bet if I light a fire underneath his hinder-parts it will get him moving. But if I do that won't that ignite me, too? Isn't that the point?

Okay, Stephanie, you're up. It's back to the grindstone. Write those words. Polish those sentences. Make that manuscript sing!

I just read a blog about creating a platform. There were questions that were intended to help determine the what and how of it. They were great. Not only did it help in terms of the platform, it energized me around my ms. So it's back to the revisions!

I am determined to make it the best it can be. I believe 100 percent in the concept and the story. I just need to think it through, see the character in 3-D. That should work out most of the kinks. I know it can and will work once I put it all together.

I will do what helped me in grad school, set a schedule and stick to it. And as a bonus, I retire at the end of this month and will be able to devote even more time to the project. I will get it done!

In case you're wondering, I'm not all that old. In fact, I'm more than two light years this side of ancient. I needed a break and it was more than time to try something else.

Man am I feeling discouraged today. I'm starting to wonder if I can do this writing thing. There seems to be so much I have yet to learn and so much I haven't figured out how to do. I can't believe that something that I want so very badly would stump me like this.

I wish there was a way to enter a discussion with someone who could give me real feedback on what I am doing. I belong to two critique groups. It's not that I don't value their feedback, but the majority of the attendees are in the same boat with me.

It would be awesome if I could enter a mentor relationship with a writing professional. Someone who could point out my errors. Not the obvious ones like typos, grammar, telling instead of showing, but the more subtle things like style, presentation, character depth. Or tell me when I'm getting closer.

I received feedback from professionals that say they like my voice, enjoy the story, I write well, but none of it has told me why it wasn't accepted. Then I got someone to tell me more specifically why they were not going to take the ms. That was extremely helpful, but here's the problem. As I make the revisions and corrections how do I know if I'm correcting it or doing more of the same things that hurt my chances? It's not like that person said, "send it back when you've made the corrections."

So I'm doing what I think is right and can only hope that it is. Once I've finished then it's off to the next professional. Who knows what they will think? I can only hope I get it right or they are willing to invest enough time to help me get it there.**GROAN**

My brain is foggy and I'm more than tired, but I just had to write about this. I had sent a manuscript to be reviewed (at the agent's request) by an agent. Needless to say that he didn't take. Otherwise I'd be floating too high to write.

Anyway, it was really worth the frustration and disappointment. He did something that no other professional has ever done. He actually commented on the ms. He started out by telling me what was right about the story. The list was pretty long. He finished by telling me what was wrong with it. Never before have I had such interest in my work that a professional would invest their time and energy to say something helpful. I have a clear idea on what I need to do to fix it.

Following this comment I enrolled in a extension course on fiction writing at the local university to make sure what I thought I had learned was really the 'stuff.' I was approaching the class with excitement and trepidation, but I knew that it would be helpful no matter what was taught.

Wouldn't you know it, the class was cancelled the night before it was to begin. Now I' really bummed. Oh well, I'll keep an eye out for another class like this and see what comes of it. But for now, I'll keep working on the manuscript with what I think is needed.

Here we go again. I heard from the agent reviewing my manuscript this morning. He said that he enjoyed it but he needed to pass. He encouraged me to continue querying it. I'm really bummed. There were things that he said he would like to have seen. So now I have to figure out what he means and then learn to do it.

I guess I need to stop writing for now and see if I can learn what it is that I'm not doing. The problem is I'm not sure where to learn it. I found a UCR extension course that I will be signing up for, hopefully I will get some information there.

I'm not ready to give up, but it's really hard to keep going. That's only in this minute. By tomorrow or Sunday I'll be back feeling that the task I have set myself is doable if I am willing to learn and find someone to learn it from. But today I am really bummed.

I guess I have to realize that only through this crazy process of being turned down and then improving my craft will I succeed. But I have to tell you that it is really hard. It is probably the single most difficult thing I have ever done. And I have a doctorate, for crying out loud.

That was much easier compared to this. In pursuit of the advanced degree, there were expectations and guidelines laid out. If you didn't understand what was being asked there was always someone to check with. You could even go the the prof and ask them to elaborate on their requirement. But this writing gig is something else again.

I feel like I'm shooting in the dark all the time. I am told by professionals that I write well, that my work is very readable, exciting, and has great tension. I need to figure out what is wanted in what he is looking for. When I'm not feeling so down, I will email the agent and ask if he wouldn't mind elaborating a little bit on his comments.

Maybe he will tell me and maybe he won't. All I can do is ask and he can't shoot me for that. He's not allowed to shoot me for anything. All he can do is decline to answer and if he does decline I haven't lost anything. So I'll give it a shot.

Okay, I'm back in the saddle again. I just dropped my manuscript in the mail to an interested agent. So now I wait with fingers, eyes, and toes crossed. I haven't been idle since my last post. I've been writing and making changes to the layout of this page.

In going through the manuscript again to make sure everything was as right as I can make it, I noticed that I had dialogue tags that really don't work. Instead of 'she said', I had things like 'she chided' or 'she answered'. I finally figured out what all of the books on writing mean. By adding these unnecessary tags, I am treating the reader with disrespect. If the statement preceding the tag is well written, then the reader will understand my intent which makes these type of tags not only redundant, but insulting.

The other thing I picked up while walking through the story is that sometimes what seems understandable and complete in my mind, may not be so in the written form.

Going over everything again before mailing gave me an opportunity to not only change these things, but is was also an opportunity to learn, concretize what I had read about writing. If you haven't picked up The First Five Pages by Noah Lukeman and Story by Robert Mckee, run out and do so immediately. These two texts are the clearest I have ever read on writing. Lukeman's book is elegant in its simplicity and McKee's is complete in its explanation and depiction of story. Both are must haves for the writer's library.

It's time for me to get back to writing. I'll be talking to you again soon.

J

It's been four days since my last 'no thank you' and I'm still feeling discouraged. I know I have to get back to writing, but it seems too hard. Melodramatically I could say, "What's the point?" And the answer to that is, to keep at it so I will grow as a writer.

I know that's really the point, but sometimes it's hard to remember. Every time I send out another query or someone requests a manuscript, I get my hopes up. I try to keep it all in perspective, but the hopes rise anyway.

It's really good to have hope because that's what keeps me going. But the hope wanes when a decline comes. It causes me to question my abilities.

Having had a big name editor from a large house say that my writing is "very good" helps. But the frustrating thing is that if I write so well why hasn't anyone picked up anything.

I know the answer to that is "it's not what we are looking for right now." And my response is "Can you just hold onto it until later when you are looking for that?"One can hope and dream.

So here is what I think really happens. Each house has a list of what they are looking for and they swap the lists between them. They don't tell you who has what list and they don't tell you when the exchange will happen. And because of this list swapping, your manuscript is always one step behind, chasing the elusive list. With agents it's even harder to catch up because there are more of them.

One day my manuscript will catch up to that list, whether it's with an agent or a publishing house. The odds are in my favor if I keep writing and keep querying.

Now that this is off my chest, I think I feel better, so it's back to writing for me.
J

It seems that this writing/publishing process is something that can only be endures. I just received another decline to a query. Well not exactly the query. I sent the query and he requested the manuscript. Then he declined, saying that it wasn't that it wasn't right for his agency.

What does that mean? I did the research and it looked to me that what I sent was within the bounds of what he has represented. So, my question is, what is right for an agency and how do you know? I have come to the conclusion that research isn't necessarily helpful.
Well, not really. It's just that things are so subjective.

So it all boils down to chance. Chance that they will be looking for what they said wanted before. Chance that they will like what you have written. And chance that they believe the project will sell at this time.

Hooly-Looly! That's a lot of 'chance'. This whole process seems to be one big crap shoot. And don't forget the economy. If it hadn't been for the down turn, I really believe I was on my way to a contract. At least that's what I was led to believe. Thank you economics.

Well, it's back to the keyboard for me. Working on a new project that may hit at the elusive 'right time'. The other one, I'll see who to send that to next week.

Happy writing.

I've been sitting in front of my computer for at least two hours. I've checked my email twice, checked my facebook page, and even went to jacketflap to see if there was anyone I recognized. All of this in avoidance of writing.

After this weekend it's kind of scary opening the file of the novel I'm working on. I'm warring with huge discouragement and the knowledge that no matter what I write it can always be improved upon.

I finally got myself to open the file and just write two sentences. That was the deal I made with myself. Write two sentences. They didn't have to be perfect. They didn't even have to be good. I only had to write them.

Well, I did it. And not only did I write the two sentences, I wrote whole paragraph before I realized that my confidence was returning and story ideas came flooding into my mind.

It's amazing the amount of power we give to others, people we think we can or should trust with our vulnerability. What a mistake! It isn't that these people are so untrustworthy. It is simply that they are human and suffer the from the same bouts of insecurity as the rest of us. We lay on their shoulders a weight that is too heavy for anyone to carry. We ask them to give us value and worth; something they are struggle with obtaining for themselves.

I am learning so many things along this journey of becoming a professional writer. The most resent lesson is that only God can give me value and worth. These people can only tell me if they like what I wrote, nothing more.

Wow, it's been over a year since I've written anything. Since then I have been to the mountain top and back down in the valley. I've come so close to getting published and now I'm wondering if it will ever happen.

What I'm struggling with today is whether I can write or not. The truth is I have proof that I can write and that at least one of my stories is very good, per David Gale of Simon & Schuster. Then I attend a workshop and my writing is ripped to shreds, and I must say that those doing the ripping were not very professional in the manner in which they went about it.

So, here I sit today fighting the two-ton weight of discouragement. Will I stop writing? I doubt it. Do I trust what I write? Not so much. What I need is to do is keep at it. I must find that which will keep me motivated and encouraged. This whole journey is killer, but I can't stop now. I'm hooked. I've got this writing Jones bad.

That means I'll just keep doing it until I get where I want to be.

Thanks for listening, I'm starting to feel better. I guess what I needed was to vent.

Distractions abound! Everywhere I look they are there. Even if I keep my eyes closed, they are there. Whether it's going to work or being invited to lunch by grandchildren, sticking to my schedule is really tough.

Writing requires blocks of time to sit down and get it done. These are difficult for me to find. There always seems to be something that 'needs' to intrude. Trying to prioritise what's important and what can wait is not the easiest task in the world.

I always want work to wait, but because I enjoy eating and sleeping indoors on a regular basis, it cannot. I never want my grandchildren to wait, but I know that delayed gratification is an important character building exercise they must learn to tolerate, and they must wait.

Living as a disciplined person, writer, or whatever, is too hard. It makes me want to whine. Even though whining can be gratifying, it is never productive. It boils down to making the right choice. Doing the hard thing. Placing my bottom in the chair and getting the writing done.

Now that I've said that, I must act accordingly, say goodbye and get back to work. See ya.

J

Well, I guess the holidays are officially over. Bah! Humbug! Time to pull down all of those decorations, put away the Christmas cards, stop eating things I shouldn't, and get back to work.

I've been trying to catch up on my revised chapters at the same time I write new ones. There's something about working from both ends of a novel that is really helpful. I can point the reader toward the end much more efficiently. And, it's easy to see if there are any inconsistencies in the characters.

Even though this is a helpful process, there is still a part of me that rails against it. I somehow think I should be able to write the perfect chapter the first time. I can't tell if that's arrogance or laziness. Maybe it's a little bit of both. I have been really working on my attitude. I hope I'm making progress. Who knows...

Discipline is the watchword for the year. Discipline to keep myself in the chair writing. Discipline to re-write until it's the best I can get it. Discipline to listen to the words of wisdom offered in critique. These are the hardest parts of writing for me. Lord, help me.
J

Well, it's in the mail. I returned the revised chapters the editor asked for along with the plot outline. And wouldn't you know it, after I dropped it in the mail, a writer friend found typos in it! $^&%& and triple $^&%& I went over that thing and over that thing.

Here's hoping the editors are a little more human than we all fear they may not be. I guess this is a real lesson in humility. No matter how I want and try to be perfect, I'm stuck with just plain old me. But not to worry. I kinda like me real good, as my granddaughter would say.

Now the task is to finish the manuscript and make each word count. I wish I could not go to work and sit and type all day and all night. Reality says that there are some important things that I would need to attend to even if I didn't have to work, like the relationships in my life.

It's those relationships that help me flesh out my characters. Because I know how it feels to be with others and experience others being with me, the desires, fears and losses of my characters have greater depth.

When was the last time one of your characters did more than the obvious? What makes a story work are the subtleties and layers of everything within your writing. If all you have to say are the obvious things then settle for another "Dick and Jane" book. But if what you're after is a novel that hooks the reader, then invest in folds, seams, and tiers. Leave the obvious for those who can do no better. Keep at it. You'll get there.
J

Another week has rolled around and I'm still writing. The challenge for the day is to tweak my synopsis to perfection. But is there such a thing. I wonder.

When I'm writing I'm constantly looking for a better word, a better way to say it. I can't tell you how I struggle with finding the 'right active voice' for a phrase. It is the bane of the writer's existence.

Every word has to be important, or don't put it in. Every line must move you to the next. The first line's job is to drag you in. Whether it's the first line of the chapter, page, or book it doesn't matter. It must trap you.

And the last line is equally important. Sometimes, it's more important that the first line. It's job is to hook you, be it the last line of the page, chapter. or the book.

I believe that last line of the book is the most important line you'll right. It ties everything together. It satisfies the reader on one hand, but leaves them hungering for more, on the other. The last line must demand of the reader that they seize your next book, and your next.

The perfect first line and the perfect last line are what keep people reading. A solid active story between those lines satisfies.

So I'm off to polish and shine up my work. I've got to get it just right. See ya.

J

So sorry to be so late in posting, but I have a really good reason. Two days before Thanksgiving Day I received a chapter that had been kept by an editor at a recent critique. I had been looking forward to getting it back. I wanted to see what corrections she would make so that I could revise the chapter and use her input to improve my writing.

So I got the chapter back, but with it came an invitation to submit!!! Oh my gosh!! I couldn't believe it. I was immediately slammed by overwhelming emotion. The first emotion was this is so great. I finally get a real chance. No slush pile. My work will get read by an EDITOR. Wahoo!! The second feeling was oh great. It's going to be read by an EDITOR. Oh no.

Both emotions were switching back and forth at such rapid pace that there was no space for celebration. It took me several days to finally settle enough to work on the piece with confidence. I had been frozen in the terrorizing belief that if I didn't get this right I would never have such an opportunity again.

That is so not the truth! Here is what is real. If I do my best and it doesn't make it with this house, then I will look at the work again, make necessary changes, and try it somewhere else.

If my writing is good enough to get me this far, then it is good enough to get me another chance. I can't believe the crazy things that fly through my head.

I am finally back in my own skin and back to writing. So I'm off to put on paper what is moving through my mind.

J

It seems that this journey is full of tweaks and fixes. In the recent past I finally got that a story has multiple layers. Every scene needs to be filled with description for grounding the reader, emotion to pull the reader in, and the character's process to give the reader something to connect with. In my writing I had neglected one of these consistently.

I've got the hang of it and am including all of the above in each scene. But wouldn't you know it, now I'm overdoing it. A little too much description and you lose the flow of the story. Too much emotion and your characters become unbelievable. And who cares about every little thought that passes through the character's head.

It's easier for me to think of it as good cooking. When preparing any dish, you need to add the right seasonings and never too much. A pinch of this and you're doing fine, but add a handful, it's not edible.

Gauging just the right amount of description is usually best judged by someone else. Too often your story is so ingrained in your mind that it's difficult for you as the writer to see if you've strayed from its path.

It is so easy to fall in love with the layout of a scene. You think you're painting this beautiful picture, but if overdone the story becomes about the picture and not your character's behavior or adventure.

So I'm off to tweak a bit of description and get my story back on the right road. Next time I'll pay better attention to the trail of breadcrumbs I laid.
J

Okay, I admit I've been a little distracted, but I'm back. I have to tell you it was a good distraction, though. I've been writing.

I was typing away, working on my latest project and I ran into a problem that I couldn't solve. Because of it I was stalled, right in the middle of a chapter. I couldn't get the work to move forward no matter how hard I tried.

Finally, I asked my husband to give me a hand (really, his ears). I explained where I was in the story and where I needed to go. Then I told him what was in my way.

What a guy! First, he listened. Then he asked a few questions. Then he made a few suggestions. And presto-chango, alacazam! The block dissolved right in front of my eyes.

Not only was I able to solve the problem, but his suggested solution took me three chapters beyond. I can't tell you what a help a fresh outlook was. Now I am able to write a path straight through to the main thread that will take me to the climax of the story. Wahoo!

Sometimes I forget to ask for help. I think I mistakenly believe that I have to do things by myself. Boy, what a mistake. The lesson for the week. Never be afraid, or too stubborn to ask for help. If you ask, you might actually get something accomplished.

Keep writing.
J

Wow, I just left the regular meeting of my critique group. Every time I leave, I come away inspired.

Today I heard stories that entertained and impressed me. Stories that were fantastic and stories that were real. Stories that clearly belonged to the writer. Every time I attend I come away thinking, How did they come up with that idea?

It amazes me. It has been said that there are only a few story-lines. If this is the case, then the variety of their presentation is uncountable. How do we (writers) keep coming up with new ideas? Each one more fabulous than the last.

In this group, each of us writes for children, but not the same age group. One of the members of the group has such fresh ideas that his stories are unparalleled. Fresh, vibrant and full of light. When he reads them I feel young and wide-eyed waiting for life to open before me.

Then there are the stories for middle grade. Full of excitement and mystery. This one has a way of drawing you in, waiting for the other shoe to drop. And no matter how you guess, you never work out her endings.

Oh, and the YA authors, their stories have me remembering things from that time that are better left back there. The emotions of insecurity, lack of confidence, the need to be accepted, and the discovery of my own strength.

What a time! Riding the imaginations of others. There's nothing like it and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

J

Good morning. I'm sitting and waiting for my granddaughter to arrive. Playing with her is one of my favorite things to do. She is also a great help in fleshing out my characters and keeping them childlike. She says things in a way that would never occur to me. It helps me with authenticity.

Since my own childhood is quite a bit in the past, writing for children can be a challenge. Childlike language and thought process can be a struggle if I don't make a point of visiting children regularly. My favorite place for research is either a McDonald's Playplace or any popular mall. It depends on the age group I'm aiming for.

What is amusing for me is the way language changes, but stays the same. When I was a teen, back in the dark ages. We said that something good was cool, bad, or tough. What I hear is that good things are chill, wicked, or sick. Still so very close to what I know that I can understand.

But don't ask me to read or understand a text message. That's a completely different dimension. I'm so far behind in that area that only yesterday I discovered how to sent a message from my computer to friend's phone. I could use regular language so it wasn't that much of a leap for me.

Maybe soon I'll be able to successfully tackle text messaging. I know a few people in my generation that text on a daily basis. So I guess that means that it is a possibility for me. If I'm going to do this I guess I'd better dig out my decoder ring.

J

Well it's another week and here I am again. Fortunately the nerve in my back seems to have calmed down so that I can resume my writing schedule. Yeah, like I really stick to that.

Last week while I was waiting for the pain to stop I realized how much I rely on writing and reading for respite from life in general. Not being able to do either was really tough. I was able to return to my nightly ritual of reading in bed for the first time in almost a week.

Now it's time to get back to writing. The characters' voices have returned. It's funny how I've missed their company. Soon they will be telling me what comes next in the story and arguing with me about what they would and wouldn't say.

I used to think it strange hearing them and worry that some weird psychotic process was happening within my mind. Now I just accept their presence and go on about my life.

I'm wise enough to only speak about these voices with other writers. As a psychologist I know how the mention of 'voices' can be interpreted. So the knowledge of their presence is for writers only, people who understand.

It's just good to be back. Great to be typing without pain. There's still a dull ache, but I can easily ignore that. And now it's time to get back to the story. I'll keep you posted on how it all turns out.
J

Hi All. I'm definitely back from the writer's retreat, but because I inflamed a nerve in my back I haven't been able to use the computer. I'm really not supposed to be doing it now, but I can no longer resist the need to write.

The retreat was awesome. For once I was able to put the anxiety away and be myself. It was so much more enjoyable that way. I met some great writers. Every one of them was helpful and willing to share tips, advice, and encouragement.

The special treat was that of being able to reading my work in front of an editor and an agent. And here's the coolest part...they liked my work!!! Both said that my current project has a strong protagonist and that the writing is "rich". They found the story intriguing and wanted to hear more. What an ENCOURAGEMENT. Wahoo!

I can't wait to have this nerve thing heal so that I can really put in some writing time.

What I learned is that I am a good writer and getting better all the time. That is really important to me. Being published is something that I really want, but more than that, I want those who read my books to really enjoy them. What would be the point of being published and having your writing have no impact on the world.

I write for children because I really believe in them. I know that it is cliche to say that they are our future, but they really are. Watching them learn and grow in the world around them, taking everything in is a privilege I do not take lightly. So my work has to have a positive effect. Something that enriches their day. A new fact or a new way to view things, something that is more than helpful, something that is enlightening.

I don't want my writing to simply be entertaining. There's nothing wrong with entertainment, it's just that it doesn't last. You read a good book that is solely entertaining and after a while it fades. But if you read a book that is entertaining, but gives you something to think about, too, that book stays with you forever.

That's what I want to do. I've read both of these types of books and enjoyed them. But the ones that gave me that something extra are still in my head.

The annoying ache in my shoulder is becoming a dull roar, so I had better stop for now. Thanks for waiting for me. I'll write again soon.
J

Okay, here's my newest problem. Maybe not new, but certainly ongoing. This weekend I'm attending a writer's retreat. We will be breaking into groups for critique with the opportunity to read before editors and agents. I have my manuscript ready and am talking to myself about confidence and openness. This I can do.

The problem is the pitch. They expect us to present a pitch of our work. I'm ready to scream. I don't know how to do this. I've been working on it and everything I come up with doesn't sound like the piece I'm writing.

How on earth do you boil everything down to two to three lines and fill them with the strength and excitement of the piece? Ugh! I'm pulling my hair out. I'm sure it can be done. People do it all the time. I just don't know how to do it.

This whole process is unbelievable. Every time I conquer one thing there lies another just waiting to conquer me. Sometimes I wish I were a quitter so that I could just walk away, but I'm not. So I'm stuck.

So here I sit writing these few lines over and over. Trying to tweak them into the boldness and strength of my main character. I know that if I keep at it I'll get it, but this is HARD.

I used to say that I love a challenge because it helps me grow. Now I'm starting to regret those words. There can be too much of a good thing. I envision that when I'm much older and much grayer I will have conquered this whole writing process. But I'm sure that's only wishful thinking. In the end there will always be one more thing to master.

J

Enough about travel woes. I'm writing again. It really feels good. Watching myself write and seeing how my characters are moving through the scenery of the story is very interesting.

Yesterday while I was deep in the setting of ancient Africa my husband asked me a question. I must have jumped about three inches off of my chair. His voice was the last thing I expected, especially since my character was sneaking around in the middle of the night.

If anyone had told me that a world I created could become so real that I could get lost in it, I would have never believed them. Sometimes when I'm thinking through a storyline I almost expect a character to speak to me.

Because the story takes place in an area of the world that I have never been and a time that is deep into the past, I do a lot of research. I get so involved in the facts that I often find it difficult to break away and get back to writing.

And here's the best part. As a true information junky, I'm in heaven. I'm adding so many wonderful bits of information to my overflowing collection of unknown facts (unknown to me, at least). You never know when these little tidbits will come in handy.

It's time to crank out another chapter. So I'd better get to it.
J

Okay, now I've experienced it all. Yesterday coming over the pass into Oregon, it started snowing! I've driven in snow before, no big terror there. But driving in snow over a mountain pass in a 40-foot RV while towing an explorer, YIKES! Talk about improving one's focus in prayer.

I'll tell you, there's nothing like life's tense moments to remind you in whom you depend for you very life. This is the third time we've been in a position with the RV that required serious prayer. The first time, we were in Arizona and decide to travel over the 89A. If you're in anything longer than a four-door sedan, DON'T DO IT!

Imagine taking this 40-footer around curves and bends, through a tiny arts/crafts tourist town on the side of a mountain. We took up so much space that cars coming in the opposite direction missed our side mirrors by two to three inches.

The second time, we thought it would be fun to take the RV on a ferry across Lake Powell. It was a blast. Saved on the gas mileage going around the lake. All was fine until we got off the ferry. We had a choice of going over one hundred miles out of our way to go around the Navajo Nation. Or, take this other road that just skirted the edge of the reservation.

That was when fuel prices had just increased and we thought we would save a little time and money. At the beginning of the road there was a sign that read 'not recommended' for buses and trucks. Well, we're neither a bus nor a truck so we continued.

The sign should have said 'RV'S DON'T EVEN THINK IT'. There were places that we had to make three-point-turns just to get around a curve. And other places where the front of the motor home hung out in space in the turn.

In the middle of one of those I thought my bladder control would fail me. My husband suggested I move to the rear of the coach to relieve that tension. There was no way I was getting out of my seat. What if that disturbed the delicate balance going around one of those bends. Nothing could have pried me out of that chair.

Now we've survived a snow storm. Shortly after we descended into the valley the news reported a white-out on the highway behind us. There's no mistaking it. God does answer prayer.
J

Well I'm actually on vacation. We attempted to go the the Channel Islands off the coast of California, but rainy weather cancelled the trip. Because you are left alone on the island without a way of leaving, they won't take people there for a day trip in bad weather.

So, instead we took a boat tour around the islands. The boat was a nice one with a snack bar and observation areas. We boarded without problems. As we were leaving the port, the captain announced that we would be out for three hours and that the water would be a little rough because of the weather.

I'm sure those of you who are in my age range know what television theme song popped into my brain. You guessed it, Gilligan's Island. I immediately pulled out my trusty cell phone and called my daughter. I told her the name of the boat, the time we were leaving, the time we were expected back, and that I would call her as soon as we landed. If she didn't hear from me, she was instructed to call the Coast Guard and make them keep looking until they found us.

She laughed at me. Can you believe it and broke into song. You've got it, she sang the theme song all the way through. Kids.

Then we trekked up to Monterey to the jazz festival. It was awesome. To top it off, I ran into an old friend I hadn't seen in years. Today we're in Reno and heading for Boise, Idaho in the morning.

No, before you ask, I haven't gotten any writing done. The plan is that once I finish this post, I'll get some done. I probably should have done that first, but you know how it is when you lack discipline.

J

Hi All. I'm going on vacation this week. I hope to get lots of writing done and maybe get some much needed rest too. I'm not sure if I'll be within wifi reach, so I might not be able to keep you 'posted' on my process and progress.

Today I have got to make a declaration. Nothing new. You probably already know about it. It's just that I hope by putting it in writing it will help me.

I am totally convinced that television is the work of the devil! Whenever I watch it all of my creativity and time get sucked away. My mind doesn't flow into the worlds I have created. My characters become stunted and two dimensional. Everything goes flat.

I have got to get some discipline in my life. I had told myself that I could only watch it at night when I get home from work. That's when I really need my mind to be numb. That way I could write in the morning before work and get this project completed.

I was doing okay for about two weeks. And before I knew it, I was back to my old habits again. I have wasted tons of time with that thing blaring at me. And there isn't even anything worth watching! I spend most of the time searching for something to watch. But if I don't turn it on, somehow I think I'm going to miss something.

I have got to stick to a plan that works. This project needs finishing and it needs to be good. If I don't whip myself into shape who knows what will happen?

I know what will happen. My imagination will be flat. Nothing will get completed. And all of my plans and dreams will be a bust.

So J, turn the bloomin' thing off!!

I'll post soon.
J

Hi all. Sorry for neglecting you. I've been writing and reading. The characters of the current novel I'm writing have moved into my head, and that's a good thing. But it leaves little space for anything else. I'm so busy puzzling over plot twists and characterization that breaking away from it feels like an abandonment of the work. And once I get it figured out, I start rehearsing in my head how it would look and sound.

It occurs to me that much of the writing process takes place in my head. By the time I get to the computer to write it down it just flows from my fingertips. But here's the drawback. If I get interrupted and have to do something else, it is often difficult to remember what was going to happen next. I need to find a way to make notes that will bring me back to where I left off.

There continues to be so much to learn in this process. What amazes me most is that while I am attempting to learn about writing I am actually learning about myself. Some of the things I am learning about me I'd prefer not to know. They are not the most attractive. But at least this way I have the option to change.

Many of the things I'm learning about me are rather pleasant and come through my characters. Pretty cool. The best discovery is that I have a passion for those I care about, even greater that I had already believed.

I am finding that I really enjoy writing. I like the shift that happens in my brain and the creativity that it opens for my life as a whole. The journey is wonderful.
J

The journey continues. Yesterday I sat with a friend to walk through a new piece she had written. I am so impressed by her writing. She was able to capture raw emotion. Emotion that enveloped and permeated, taking me to depths within the character. What a rush!

That is the response to my writing that I'm going for. I can tell that I'm getting close. I think that if I keep working at it I'll get there. I'm sure of it.

What is most amazing to me is that the new skills I'm employing in my writing are becoming more automatic. I visualize the scenes in layers; sight, sound, texture, etc. Then I lay it down in words. I can see the many dimensions of my characters. I feel their emotions; hopes, fears, determinations. They live full lives somewhere inside my head.

I like their company and long to introduce them to thousands of others. I invite you to journey with me. Travel through the world of words and imagination. Your passport awaits you. Just pull it off the nearest bookshelf and allow yourself to be transported to the land of everwhere in the time of everwhen.

J

It always amazes me the things I think. Somehow I got the idea that if I improved in my writing skills the first draft would do. What a Maroon, as Bugs would say. I am learning so much about myself and my own arrogance.

I am grateful for the members of my critique group who encourage me, yet keep me in touch with reality. I am finding that I have talent, but as in anything else, that talent must be developed.

The coolest thing though (I know...they don't say cool anymore) is that I am able to learn and move beyond these unbelievable assumptions. My latest lesson is that we all doubt ourselves. A woman , whom I believe is extremely gifted and talented as a writer has questions about her abilities. It brought me back to earth. The truly good are always seeking to improve, learn more, develop their talent.

This is an area of discipline that is difficult for me. I am constantly having these heart-to-heart talks with myself about taking my dream seriously and putting in the work that will get me there.

Part of that discipline is attending seminars, conferences, and retreats. If this is really what I want then I have to set aside the time and the money to participate in these on a regular basis. It also means stepping outside my place of comfort by willingly taking chances and giving up invisibility. WOW! Scary.

J

Hi All. I've been away for a while. Life just got super busy, so busy that it is interfering with my writing. But the important thing is that I'm back.

I've been working on that YA action/adventure I spoke of in my last post. Something amazing has happened. My writing has taken a turn for the much better. I can't even tell you why. It seems like something has gelled in my brain. I think about writing my stories in different ways. I can see what's wrong with things as they come off my fingertips.

For instance, I just started the next chapter and before I could finish the page, I realized that there was no internal reaction to what the protagonist had just overheard. Normally, it would have taken comments from my critique group to point that out to me. Imagine, I saw it myself, wahoo! I'm even able to see where description is needed.

While on the one hand these are things that are not new to me, and certainly not to others, I am now seeing what all the writing books are saying. How to apply what they mean.

But all of this is a little frightening. Can I keep this up? Will I somehow forget how to apply what I've learned? I sure hope not.

I keep thinking that if I keep putting all I am learning into practice, it will become concretized in my mind and flow from my fingers. Until then I will focus on remembering the lessons learned and apply them at every opportunity.

Happy birthday to me! This past weekend I celebrated my birthday with my family. I felt wonderfully loved and honored. I spent much of the time counting the blessings of my life and pondering how I would spend the rest of it. I'll bet those of you who know me know what I'll be doing. Yup, playing with my grandchildren and writing for them.

The story that I'm working on right now seems to have taken on a life of its own in my head. At any given time I can tell you what the characters are doing, feeling, or saying.

Watching how the story turns into words on paper increases my excitement. The only thing better is watching the expression on the faces of those reading the story. I love it!

I watch other people with their hobbies and passions. It's a fever that causes delirium, steals time, and, in many cases, money, too. Fortunately, writing hasn't cost me nearly as much as some of my previous hobbies. Maybe one day it might even bring me some. Who knows?

J

Hi all, I'm back. I've been away earning a living and taking classes to renew my license. Not fun, but necessary, and none of it has anything to do with writing.

Oh well, at least I'm back. I've started reading a book I wish I had come across a year and a half ago. It talks about writing in a way that makes sense to me. The chapter I read today discussses the 'sound' of writing and suggests new writers spend time reading poetry. What an awesome recommendation.

In my critique group, one of the writers is a wonderful poet. It's her writing that taught me the 'sound' I'm trying for; the way the words flow from one another. Her writing is visual and has texture.

I'm learning to weave sound and texture through my words. I have to confess, it is no mean fete. I imagine if I practice enough it should get easier as I go along.

If I keep chipping away at that mile I'm working on, I just might get it accomlished. How about you?

J

Good grief, I can't believe it's July, already! To top that off, I got tagged from a person I was considering building a close friendship with. Just kidding, I still am wanting to build that friendship. But the price she has to pay is that somewhere in this post I will use her name.

From this point on the bold letters will spell out her name. They won't be in the correct order and sometimes I will use a letter more than once. This is to protect her identity, but those of you who are smart enough, and know her, will be able to figure it out.

I usually post about things having to do with writing, but today is different. Because of the tag, I have to tell you eight things about myself. The first thing is pretty obvious, my passion for writing.

I love having the stories alive in my head and when I see them develop on paper I really get jazzed. My dream is to have a large collection of novels for my grandchildren to read when they get older. The good news is that they're learning how to read even now. To make the collection special, I think I'll bind the manuscripts in my favorite color, green.

The strangest thing about me is that I've done time in prison, maximum security prison. Do you want to know what did to get there? Here's the story. I needed more than a few extra dollars to pay for our daughter's wedding so I went to work in one. I know, major let down. You were hoping for some spectacular crime that ended in a high speed chase across county lines with the police in hot pursuit. Sorry, just boring work.

In keeping with another passion of mine, I did learn some really interesting things. For instance, I know how to kill you with toilet paper. No, I won't tell you how. Some poor sap will try it, the police will trace it back to this blog, and then I'll do time, for real, as an accomplice. No thanks!

I am a voracious reader and I love science fiction, but not all sci-fi. I prefer character driven plots. The possibilities of the science intrigue me, but strong characters keep me reading.

Okay, I've now satisfied the obligation of the tag and you have a little more information about me than you really need. Since there's not much left to tell, I'll say goodbye for now. Keep writing.
J

This morning I woke up thinking about the quality of my writing. Questions for myself. How do I know that my writing is good? How do I make it great? What do I use as a criteria to know if it is improving?

I belong to a critique group and their feedback is helpful. After I present a piece, I go home and make the suggested corrections and changes. But does that make it better? I don't know. And if I present a piece to which there are no corrections or changes suggested, does that make it good? I don't know.

I guess the real question should be, what is the appropriate gauge by which to judge my writing? And, how do I determine if progress is being made?

In order to pursue successful writing and avoid the dangers that the 'publish or perish' mindset holds, I need to find the answer to this question. The problem is that this is such a subjective area. For example, someone could absolutely love the story and because of that not notice problems in the writing. Or on the other hand, someone could hate the story and attribute that to the writing. In either case I am still stuck with the initial question, is it good?

What I would like is a clear standard of measure, but I don't believe such a thing exists, at least not for writing. Yet, there has to be something that will assist me in my pursuit of great writing. I long to hold the reader captive, cause their heart to ache, breath fire into their spirit, and leave them panting for more.

That is what I crave and I won't stop until I have it!
J

Last night as I was drifting off to sleep, I wondered what I would write about today. The answer came to me this morning as I read a newsletter from Emily Hanlon. She wrote about something that once again has caused me to re-evaluate my decision to write. She was sharing about her father, his love of writing and his threatened feelings of failure with respect to being published.

It occurred to me that I have erroneously likened publication to successful writing. Here's the truth as I am struggling to see it. Success in writing is measured by the response of the reader to what you have created. If my intention is to create a character that the reader has strong feelings about (whether negative or positive) and evoke these, then I am successful. If I create a story that remains within the readers' minds long after the book has ended, I am successful.

In short, success as a writer is measured by the ability of the writer to take the reader on a journey through the lives of her characters and suspend them on every emotion and event with the full flavor of having experienced it themselves.

Have I mastered this thought, idea, or intention of success? Absolutely not! But I am working on it. Everyday as I add to the pile of pages that will constitute my 'mile', I will think on this. Hopefully I will be free of the tyranny of 'publish or perish'. Until then, I will continue to celebrate with my writing buddies as each project comes to life. And if I get published along the way...GOOD!
J

Another step on the journey. My husband asked me a very important question. Is writing a chore because I'm trying to make it a business, or do I write because I enjoy it? After some contemplation, here is the answer.

I write for the joy of it. I love having stories and characters alive in my head. Getting it all down on paper in a form for others to share in them can sometimes be difficult. And, putting them on paper in a manner that is marketable seems impossible, at times. But the long and short of it is, I love it.

I would love to be published. Seeing my books on a shelf in a bookstore, or better yet, seeing them pulled from the shelf by children to read would be the rush of a lifetime. But knowing that they will be enjoyed by my grandchildren for years to come is also great.

I just have to get beyond the feeling/belief that publication is the definition of success. I have to get it all into perspective. Tough job.

My new goal is to see writing and publication they way I believe about relationships and sex. (Oooo, you said the 's' word). Publication is to writing as sex is to relationship. Writing is the cake and publication is only the icing. You can eat a lot of cake, even use it as bread for sandwiches, but try to eat as much icing alone, you'll only get sick.
J

Wow! Have you ever stopped and counted your blessings? I have. And they add up to quite a few. I have such great support. You wouldn't believe it. If you go to my comments you will get a small dose of the kind of blessings and support that come my way.

Sometimes things in my life look ugly and bleak, but it doesn't stay that way for long. There is always someone to remind me how great life really is.

Writing can be very hard and there is little gratification other than the joy of a story well told. So what keeps me going? Just that. When I read a story that has come from musings, or a see character that appears out of nowhere, I am amazed. Or what really gets me going is when I read a chapter to my critique group and they respond in the way I had intended. That is really juiced!

Then there are the times that I listen to their work. I am so blown away just knowing that their minds pulled it out of nowhere. Creativity!!

The wonderful minds that I get to watch work reminds me of the greatest blessing of all...IMAGINATION. When was the last time you let yours run wild? Try it. But I have to warn you, it's addicting.

J

Okay, I'm back to being me. Rejection is so stinkin' hard. It is really hard not to take it all personally. But I think I'm ready to give it another go.

Last night while driving home from work it occurred to me that I am limiting myself. I told me that I had to jump through an additional hoop in order to submit to another agent. Why should I? I've decided to send it to her anyway and if they figure out that I may have done it 'not quite right', so what. If they really like it and want to take the work, it won't matter anyway.

So I'm off to the store to get more ink. I will write ! And write! AND WRITE! Hang them all! I am going to flood them with so much stuff they'll have to notice. Some day someone's going to see it and wonder how they overlooked it.

I think I just set a new goal for myself. By my birthday, 2008, I plan to write a mile of pages! There I put it in print, so I have to do it. It's a goal.
What are yours?
J

Okay, this is just bad. I'm feeling totally inadequate to continue. I can't face that piece again. (Of course you don't know which piece I'm talking about. It hasn't been published, yet!) Every time I think about going in and making the changes needed, I just want to cry. Or maybe blow up my computer. Not a good idea.

I've been searching myself all day for answers. My brain and my heart are just in shreds. I feel so discouraged. I don't think I can do it.

Then I got this really crazy idea. What would happen if I just didn't touch it. You know, work on something else. Something that's new and exciting. I think that maybe what I need is a change. Change of view, perspective.

Thinking about the next piece feels better. So off I go to let the new project grow in my head. I may not find peace, but at least I've gotten my 'achieve' voice to sing a different tune.
J

Hi all. Working on getting over the latest disappointment. This is so tough. I was talking with a friend and telling her how this feels so impossible. I compared it to the graduate process and earning a doctorate in psychology.

That process was difficult, but there were guidelines and information along the way to determine my progress and success. There were ways to know if you were completely wrong or at least in the ballpark. Nothing like the process of writing and getting published.

But hope springs eternal. Yesterday I got some information that might help. I found out that there is a possibility of obtaining a writing coach. I'm not sure what that entails and the possible benefits. I'm still researching it and I'll keep you posted on how this turns out.

Stay tuned.
J

Aaaaugh!!! I just heard from the agent I submitted to. Another 'no thank you'. I can't believe I keep subjecting myself to such rejection! It is incredible, and not the good kind. I work at improving and see my writing actually getting better and still no takers.

The only other opportunity is the agent that critiqued the piece. I would love to send it to her, but there is a problem. I submitted the piece to her about a year ago and without her express permission I don't believe I can send it in again.

Since then I have completely revamped it. And in her critique she liked it and even said that the manuscript was "pretty clean". I have looked everywhere to find a physical address to ask permission and no luck. I'm ready to pull my hair out. It seems that no matter where I turn there is another roadblock to the writing career I'm seeking.

Boy, earning a doctorate was a lot simpler than this. I sometimes think about giving up, but that's not likely to happen. I want this too badly. I wish I could figure out just what I'm doing wrong.
J

I haven't posted in forever. The truth is that I've been tied up in my writing and not paying much attention to this. I know, not good. The best thing is that I have returned to attending writing events.

Saturday I attended Agent's Day. It was awesome! I took advantage of having a chapter critiqued. The best part is that the agent liked it. She made a few suggestions to improve it and I have begun making those changes.

When I enter the world that I have created and begin communing with the characters, it's like taking a mini vacation. I get a rush of energy that is unbelieveable. But I think I've been making a big mistake.

I've been waiting to 'finish' the current project to begin the next one. If polishing is on-going, then waiting to 'finish' before beginning something new could take forever. I think it's best to start the next one as it comes to me. It will probably cut down on the discouragement and boost the enthusiasm.

What do you think? Let me know.
J