Thank you for your support of my entry into the Amazon contest and your paitience in my blogging about it at every opportunity. They didn't chose me. What a bummer. The day I found out was really difficult. It caused me to question my abilities as a writer and my choice of subject matter in my writing. I had to have a serious talk with myself.
I have decided that I have to truly listen to what professionals say about my writing and hold onto that. I have been told by several editors that my writing is 'very good' to 'excellent'. These editors are from major houses, so I have to believe they know what they're talking about. That means my writing is in the ballpark.
That takes me to the subject matter of my writing; therein lies the problem. Each time a major editor reviewed/critiqued my work, they were impressed with the writing but the story wasn't something that fit with what they were looking for. One even suggested something they'd love me to write which was a subject I'm not ready to work with.
Should I change and write what has been asked for or should I write what is within me? What is within me is much more positive and encouraging. What she asked for would take me to a very dark place. I'm not sure that if I visit that place I would be able to leave it. That would not be helpful to me of those around me.
Being a person of color requires that I keep some things locked away because there is no resolution to them. It is very difficult for someone who has not experienced this as a way of life to understand the impact
this has on everything one thinks, sees, and does. It is my hope that the things I choose to write about help change that for those who come after me.
Who knows? I may be fooling myself or even shooting myself in the foot. Only time will tell.