Okay, I'm back to being me. Rejection is so stinkin' hard. It is really hard not to take it all personally. But I think I'm ready to give it another go.

Last night while driving home from work it occurred to me that I am limiting myself. I told me that I had to jump through an additional hoop in order to submit to another agent. Why should I? I've decided to send it to her anyway and if they figure out that I may have done it 'not quite right', so what. If they really like it and want to take the work, it won't matter anyway.

So I'm off to the store to get more ink. I will write ! And write! AND WRITE! Hang them all! I am going to flood them with so much stuff they'll have to notice. Some day someone's going to see it and wonder how they overlooked it.

I think I just set a new goal for myself. By my birthday, 2008, I plan to write a mile of pages! There I put it in print, so I have to do it. It's a goal.
What are yours?
J

Okay, this is just bad. I'm feeling totally inadequate to continue. I can't face that piece again. (Of course you don't know which piece I'm talking about. It hasn't been published, yet!) Every time I think about going in and making the changes needed, I just want to cry. Or maybe blow up my computer. Not a good idea.

I've been searching myself all day for answers. My brain and my heart are just in shreds. I feel so discouraged. I don't think I can do it.

Then I got this really crazy idea. What would happen if I just didn't touch it. You know, work on something else. Something that's new and exciting. I think that maybe what I need is a change. Change of view, perspective.

Thinking about the next piece feels better. So off I go to let the new project grow in my head. I may not find peace, but at least I've gotten my 'achieve' voice to sing a different tune.
J

Hi all. Working on getting over the latest disappointment. This is so tough. I was talking with a friend and telling her how this feels so impossible. I compared it to the graduate process and earning a doctorate in psychology.

That process was difficult, but there were guidelines and information along the way to determine my progress and success. There were ways to know if you were completely wrong or at least in the ballpark. Nothing like the process of writing and getting published.

But hope springs eternal. Yesterday I got some information that might help. I found out that there is a possibility of obtaining a writing coach. I'm not sure what that entails and the possible benefits. I'm still researching it and I'll keep you posted on how this turns out.

Stay tuned.
J

Aaaaugh!!! I just heard from the agent I submitted to. Another 'no thank you'. I can't believe I keep subjecting myself to such rejection! It is incredible, and not the good kind. I work at improving and see my writing actually getting better and still no takers.

The only other opportunity is the agent that critiqued the piece. I would love to send it to her, but there is a problem. I submitted the piece to her about a year ago and without her express permission I don't believe I can send it in again.

Since then I have completely revamped it. And in her critique she liked it and even said that the manuscript was "pretty clean". I have looked everywhere to find a physical address to ask permission and no luck. I'm ready to pull my hair out. It seems that no matter where I turn there is another roadblock to the writing career I'm seeking.

Boy, earning a doctorate was a lot simpler than this. I sometimes think about giving up, but that's not likely to happen. I want this too badly. I wish I could figure out just what I'm doing wrong.
J

I haven't posted in forever. The truth is that I've been tied up in my writing and not paying much attention to this. I know, not good. The best thing is that I have returned to attending writing events.

Saturday I attended Agent's Day. It was awesome! I took advantage of having a chapter critiqued. The best part is that the agent liked it. She made a few suggestions to improve it and I have begun making those changes.

When I enter the world that I have created and begin communing with the characters, it's like taking a mini vacation. I get a rush of energy that is unbelieveable. But I think I've been making a big mistake.

I've been waiting to 'finish' the current project to begin the next one. If polishing is on-going, then waiting to 'finish' before beginning something new could take forever. I think it's best to start the next one as it comes to me. It will probably cut down on the discouragement and boost the enthusiasm.

What do you think? Let me know.
J